My First Mothers Day

Photo by Sue Burns Photography

I have only been a mom for 11 weeks now, but I know I was meant to be a mom to Everett.  I remember when we first brought him home from the hospital I didn't think he knew the difference between me and any other human holding him.  I didn't think he knew I was his mom.  Now, he knows me.  He knows I am his mom and I know him.  I know just how he likes to twist his little body on my body for him to calm down and how he likes to lay to fall asleep, and how he wants to be held when his tummy hurts. He knows my voice when I talk and sing to him and he knows my smell when I pick him up and hold him. I love being a mom to this sweet soul.

Becoming a mom has only made me appreciate my own mom more.  She has taught me everything I know and made me who I am.  She has taught me to be selfless, to be kind and empathetic.  She taught me that if i am going to do something do it well, I am not quite as much as a perfectionist (the woman can spend two hours picking out a font) but I have learned to work hard at what I set my mind to.  She taught me that when in doubt, make more, because no one likes when you run out of food.  She has taught me to be strong but that it is ok to cry and most importantly she has taught me how to be a mom.  I truly believe that I will be a good mom to my baby because she is such a good mom to me.  I have been learning from her my whole life.  I love you mom, thanks for loving us so unconditionally.

Blessed.

Everett's blessing day was great, my family was here from Canada, Ben's dad and family came all the way from New Hampshire, and Ben's mom and family were all here from St.George.  It was so so nice to have so much family here.

In hindsight, we should have done the blessing in our home rather than at church because 8:30am church with a newborn who doesn't sleep and trying to get everyone ready was pretty chaotic.  I realized once we got to the church that he needed/wanted to eat and I was not wearing a breastfeeding friendly outfit. Mom Fail.  So there was definitely some maneuvering and help needed in the mother's lounge from my Mother in Law.  My biggest worry was that Everett would scream during the whole blessing; I was out in the hall with him crying right until the second they announced us.

HE DIDN'T CRY!  He didn't make a peep the whole blessing.  Ben gave a really special and humble blessing and I felt so grateful for both my boys that day.  Everyone said that he just stared up at Ben the whole time.

We had a little lunch afterward that my aunt and uncle were nice enough to host at their house rather than our little apartment.  Delicious food, gorgeous weather and surrounded by family and friends.  It was a really perfect Sunday even despite the 8:30am church.  

A Series of Unfortunate Events

1) Baby wakes up at 5:11am. and 2:00am before that and 11pm before that.
2) Feed baby. Baby falls asleep while nursing Score!
3) Baby has loud audible "bathroom"
4) Consider leaving it. Check for leakage.
5) Leakage. Crap
6) Change Diaper. Change Sleeper
7) Baby is awake and smiling.  Hi sweetheart...no dangit, you are awake, close your eyes, go back to sleep, it's not morning yet.
8) Attempt all possible ways of getting baby back to sleep without leaving the bed.
9) Attempts are futile.
10) Bring baby out to living room and bounce on ball with him.
11) Turn on TV, nothing on. Keep bouncing
12) Finally baby is asleep
13) Place baby in swing.
14) Go lay down to get some sleep while baby is sleeping.
15) Stomach growls. Realize I am starving.
16) Put bread in toaster
17) Drop knife with audible clang
18) Baby wakes up crying
19) Repeat steps 11-13
20) Go back for toast.
21) Toast is cold. Throw toast away
22) Other options. Cereal? Off dairy Eggs? way too much work. Yogurt? still off dairy.
23) I don't need breakfast. I need sleep.
24) Go lay on couch.
25) To check instagram or not to check instagram? No! Sleep!
26) Doorbell Rings. Panic
27) Baby is restless now. Do not move. Be very still. Do not open door.  Will never know who was at my door at 7am.
28) Baby wakes up crying.
29) Think murderous thoughts about anonymous doorbell ringer.
30) Repeat steps 11-13
31) Lay on couch.
32) Lawn mowers start outside window. This is a joke right?
33) Baby wakes up crying.
34) Baby has a snack and a blowout.
35) Change diaper. Put dirty diaper next to 4 other dirty diapers on my coffee table.  Ew that's gross.
36) Do nothing.
37) While noticing gross diapers.  Baby pees all over me, my shirt and pants.
38) Change diaper. Change sleeper.
39) Spray and wash sleeper.
40) Start to change my own clothes.
41) Baby starts screaming.
42) Run to baby
43) Repeat steps 11-13 sans clothes.
44) Baby is asleep in the swing.
45) Put on clothes.
46) Lay on couch. I still smell like pee. Did it get on the couch?
47) Check instagram.
48) Think about blogging this ridiculous almost comical morning.
49) Close eyes.
50) I'm pretty awake now actually. I don't need a nap.
51) Do pointless things.  Tidy up coffee table diaper cemetery. Start load of laundry. Check instagram again.
Stare at baby. Watch Micheal and Kelly. Why doesn't he get that tooth gap fixed?
52) Baby wakes up happy and smiling.

2 hours later....

Crash...burn....dying....utter regret....help....need sleep....

Introductions

Well I think most of our friends and family have now received Everett's birth announcement 

so I wanted to share it on here, as well as some of his other newborn pictures.

My cousin Jamie has a photography business called Lola Mac Photography 

and takes stunning pictures.

I am so so happy we got these pictures taken, 

they are not only beautiful but preserve his newborn-ness perfectly.

He has already changed so much!

Without further ado...

Everett: Two Months

Two months!  Well he is sure a fussy one, this one.  I can't believe how much I still love him because he is such a crier!  The book says to say he HAS colic, not that he IS colicky because it is something that he HAS and not IS and it will pass.  Poor little man is constantly in pain it feels like, he can't quite figure out his little body and his tummy hurts all the time.  He does have his happy moments and I eat those up like an ice cream sundae (remember I am off dairy and of course craving it now more than ever).  Ben and I take turns rocking him, walking around, standing in front of fans and vents (he likes the noise) and basically trying anything and everything to help him feel a little better, or at least distract him.  We have tried everything, our current "as seen on tv-ish" solution we are trying is probiotic drops, we are on day 4 and they are supposed to start helping on day 5. we shall see. I feel bad for wishing time to move more quickly but I am hoping that this colic phase gets the heck outta here!

He is still a great eater but he likes his milk straight from the source and is not very good at taking a bottle of pumped milk.  He likes the breast, and who can blame him really!?  The only problem is he likes to eat at least every three hours, even during the night.  We had one night where he slept five hours in a row, and I thought we were all saved but alas, just a fluke.  He still sleeps quite a bit during the day, but I am thinking once this colic phase moves out, he will have longer awake periods because he will be happier and then hopefully sleep longer during the night.

I am also hoping he starts to smile more.  Seriously, it keeps me up at night.  He has been slower to smile but we have got a few out of him!  I have been really worried about this but my mom keeps reminding me that he doesn't have time to smile because he is too busy crying and grunting.  Although last night at 3 am, I changed his diaper, he looked right at me and smiled (i think).  I really needed that. Someone make me stop googling.  I worry much too much.

Everett loves his baths with me, he will calm right down when we get in the water and it is one of my favorite times of the day, me and Ev in the bath and Ben kneeling beside washing and pouring warm water on him all while acting completely ridiculous doing anything we can to get him to smile. He also LOVES being bounced on a big purple exercise ball.  It is the only thing we have found that consistently will calm him down.  We spend hours and hours bouncing on that ball.  The good news is, our core strength is vastly improving.  He also likes to be outside and he likes to be naked, both at the same time if possible (it was only warm enough once so far for this) and he was as happy as a naked clam for about an hour.

We had his two month check up; he weighs 10 pounds 6 ounces (25th percentile) 22 inches long (50th percentile) and his head is 39 cm (75th percentile).  He also had his shots, that sure is an emotional day for everyone involved.  I can tell the difference between his angry cry, annoyed cry, fake cry, whiny cry and his pain cry, and that day we got his pain cry which made me a big ball of mush all day.

Overall we are doing pretty good, I am not going to lie, the constant crying can be really discouraging.  Some nights I just sit on that ball and bounce and cry right along with him.  It is hard to feel like we are doing a good job when he seems to be sad all the time and I feel so helpless to him.  It is hard to be so scared to go out in public in case he has a meltdown and it is hard to see what feels like everyone else with perfectly content babies who never cry and sleep all night.  I don't regret it though, I love him beyond anything and I know he loves me and feels loved by us, even though he cant show it.  I know that even though sometimes it feels like it will last forever and we will be bouncing a 4 year old on a big purple exercise ball all day, it will pass and soon he will be smiling and laughing all day long :)  I love my little Everett baby.

Some other notes:
His eyes are so blue, If I am not mistaken they are the exact same color as mine
His lashes are finally starting to grow, we are still working on those eye brows
He does NOT like his carseat and scary screams when he has had enough.
He likes to be sung too.  He likes skidamarinkeedoo and primary songs
He loves to look at the TV and also our picture gallery wall
He has old lady nails, they grow so so fast and are so long.
He had his first smile for his grandma (my mom)
Not a fan of tummy time
He coo's and talks a lot during his happy time, he makes noises that remind me of a baby dinosaur.

Observations from a new mom

I have only been at this for six weeks, quite possibly the best but longest six weeks of my life, mostly because I have been awake for most of it.  Ev is still quite colicky and it can be really hard, but in those precious moments when he is awake and cooing and trying so hard to smile or sound asleep on my chest, I tend to forget about his little screamo fests.

Here are just a few of my observations from the past six weeks about my new life as a mama:

• I have developed super sonic mom hearing, I can hear him breathing over the sound of the tv, his music on his swing etc. and believe me, I am constantly doing breathing checks.
• Never have I ever been so obsessed with backing up my pictures!  I have copies of every picture taken of Everett online, on my computer, and on my hard drive.
• I now know why my mom didn't want me to go to school in the states, being so far away from family is really hard.
• I am pretty confident I could win big on Price is Right and Ellen makes me cry pretty much every other day #daytimetelevision
• Snaps on sleepers make me want to swear
• If baby finally falls asleep on your chest and you are not near the remote, you will be watching the local news with Brent Hunsaker for the next hour. I am very current these days. 
• I have never been a huge ice cream fan..."you should probably go off dairy while breast feeding"......I want ice cream more than anything else....ever
• The songs we have stuck in our heads these days are lullabies. And I am convinced that no one, not even the French  actually know the correct lyrics to "frare-a-jock-a" " sonny-lemma-tina-ding ding dong, ding ding dong??
• I think our baby is smarter than we think. He plays games like wait till just after I change his diaper to do his business and wake up right when I fall asleep, such a joker! And also be completely adorable and perfect right after an hour of inconsolable crying, just when I need it. 
• You would not believe some of the things I have googled in the past six weeks. Laughable
• My every thought and action revolves around my baby Everett and I'm not even mad.

3:00 pm

Everett and Easter

happy happy happy easter!

Despite Everett's face here, we had a really great Easter weekend.

We went down to St. George to spend it with Ben's mom and it was just what we needed.

Flip-flops, red rocks and sunshine oh my!

Ben's mom watched the babe on Friday night and Ben and I got to go out to a movie!!

I was nervous to leave him but he slept like a champ the whole time.

We saw 'the host'. I liked it a lot.

Ben and I love going to the movies, so the buttery popcorn and a show was such a treat.

Although the lack of previews were very disappointing.  Only two previews?? Come on Megaplex!

On Saturday we helped his mom move and when I say we I mean Ben and a bunch of boys.

Me and Everett were pretty useless.

They got it done so quickly that we were to Cafe Rio by lunch time enjoying that sweet sweet pork.

After a nice walk and nap for all three of us and a family dinner out

we turned in for the night.  

My mother in law took the baby after the five o clock feeding when he decided it should be morning

so I got a good solid three hour stretch.  Heaven.

On Sunday we had a nice family turkey Easter lunch outside, Everett played  looked at his cousin Tosh and we just soaked up the St. George sun before we had to head out before Ben worked that night.

After we dropped Ben off at work, Everett and I went to my aunt and uncles where we got a 

second delicious Easter dinner and Everett got fawned over by all the ladies.

Even though much of the weekend was spent bouncing on an exercise ball for hours with a colicky baby,

(yes it really works) 

it was a really great weekend.  I can already tell holidays are going to be so fun with a little.

Not to mention we all got spoiled silly by all the grandparents who sent us treats.

Ben and I got Everett this book for Easter because it's classic and about a bunny named little nutbrown.

He really likes it and by likes it I mean he doesn't scream when I read it to him.

ladies man

nana and baby

best of buds

making it really hard for me to go off dairy.

'and the baby lay with the lamb' (an Easter gift from my parents)

Our first holiday as three; a success!